courage
I know it is time to step out of the shadows and into the light. I don’t mean to dim to fit in but I wanted everything to be perfect before I decided to shine on the world. I wanted my business plans to be in place. I wanted to know the numbers confidently. I wanted the messages to be clear. I wanted everything to be perfect before everyone really knew what I was up to. I am far from perfect. My life is far from abundant. I put on the happy face and imbibe on liquid courage to present myself as someone who is successful and has it all together. The truth is most days are filled with struggle.
We grow up a certain way with certain beliefs and live our lives based on someone else’s expectations. I did everything I was told, got good grades in school, got a college degree, and got a job. It was supposed to be followed by meet your husband, settle down in a home, and have a family. Well I didn’t make it there yet. My life just didn’t go that direction. After years of criticism from family and friends about my life choices, I was worn down to the point that I didn’t trust any of my own decisions anymore. I suffered from confidence trauma. I listened to other people’s opinions and let them validate my worth. I settled for jobs I didn’t love that paid low money and didn’t feel valuable. Unable to maintain what I felt was a pretty normal lifestyle; I went into debt thinking that eventually the money would come. Eventually someone would find me valuable enough to pay me what I’m worth. Until then I will go through the motions, unfulfilled and unable to live a life I dream of. Self-pity and suffering at its finest, a victim of my own life.
What’s the breaking point? I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of myself, my life and my circumstances. I was a single woman with no one supporting me. I was the only one I had to think about. Why did I continue to do things I hated? Why did I care so much about what other people’s opinions? Why do I let other people determine my worth? They don’t have to walk in my shoes. They don’t know what I’m feeling. They don’t pay my bills. I deserve the life of my dreams and I am the only one standing in my way.
Starting Solo with Soul took courage to be vulnerable and share my stories. I wanted to share my journey so that you can be courageous in your own lives too. The first step is to have the courage to admit that you are solely responsible for your life. Everything I am doing or have done were choices that I made. I have to have courage to forgive myself and let go of the past. I have to have the courage to accept the things I cannot change. I have to have the courage to make new choices. I have to have courage to grow stronger every day. I have to have courage to let go of a scarcity mindset. I have to have courage to dedicate time to my growth. I have to have courage to admit when I am wrong. I have to have courage to be 100% accountable for my life. I have to have courage to pursue my dreams with confidence. I have to have courage to do the things I’ve never done before to get the things I’ve never gotten!
Every day takes courage. Don’t let experiences from your past or the uncertain future stop you from being courageous in your own life. You get to choose every moment of every day. Be courageous and go get your dreams!